this is why people like me better than you.

i'd still want to be friends, and they'd wantto as well because they knwo i am different from them, i am not just a repeat of what they are, i am an addition to their being. and that's being friends is about..

visited my old profs today. they love me because i am not mediocre, and i am not a lackey, i do whatever the shit i want, even when they disagree. and there's the respect we're talking about. thats how i am memorable, thats how i am chanel and i am not a number, a class, a piece of work.

apart from you i am honest, apart from you i am self-assured, apart from you i respect my talent,

apart from you, i
think that i am a better person. a better human,
and i will complete a most fulfilling and most amazing lifetime by 30.

i think im almost there.


since portraiture,
i.. haven t been able to forget a face in the crowd,
a ubiquitous white man, a narrow passageway, a certain horror,
i panic because i felt the atmosphere tell me why i am not supposed to be here.
a pain of recession, yet im further front than you seem to think.
front is painful too.. dont know left from right,

blonde boy,
actually, i find i just
need some skin. but also, it'd be fun to see where it can go.