i dont know what makes us better,

but myself,

i am really not so good.

i try to tell you what im like,

destitute, shameless,

and yet i cant get myself working again,

insides, all screwed up,

a panic, a human feeling,

paranoia and how i dont like people to hate me and talk behind my back,

im not getting anything out of you biting my head off,

but i do try hard still.

i think i've done good this year, and my sister came home a little too excited about buying my present than usual.
which makes me feel twice as bad about ruining my own birthday for other people.
i dont know what theyll give me, an earring? a taxi license? ok nonsensical aside, idk, maybe i'll get a gundam set.

and actually,
i really want flowers.